Currently Listening Kansas By Jennifer Knapp Hold Me Now see related

Life so Far

It's now May? Can you believe it?

I'm trying to get my life straightened out but the process is slow. Domestic relations has lowered my child support payment, after determining that my wife is indeed capable of getting a job. Even with the lowered payment there is barely enough left to pay rent and utilities and insurance and gas, let alone food. It sucks that they act like I'm an idiot because I'm not making more money, even though I've applied to over 50 jobs and feel like I've gotten a really good one. And even though my wife is the one who has put us in this position....she asked me to leave, she filed for divorce, I'm the one held responsible for getting us out of the situation. Initially I was asked to pay $2200.00 a month and was only making $1280.00 so I've been going further into debt since December. Even when I got a better job, If I had payed every penny of my income towards child support I would have been able to catch up but had about $40.00 a month to live on. That's $1.25 per day. Even when I was not paying rent I could not have survived on that. Then in March, I was forced to rent an apartment, and moved in to the cheapest one I could find. Meanwhile my wife, who claims to not have enough money to survive, has managed to repaint and redecorate every room in the house. I can understand the need to repaint if the house is going to be sold, but the other day I discovered that she has a copper fire pit in the back yard (which usually cost about $150.00 minimum). Hardly the basic survival necessity her lawyer claims. Oh yea I'm a little bit bitter. I really love my kids and want the best for them, and would lay down my life for them, but the money she's supposed to be spending on them , apparently is supporting her " feeling better" (as she's told the kids is her reason for redecorating" )while my kids are dressed  in dirty clothes with holes in them ( at least every time they are sent to visit me).It's a darn good thing i have good friends to support me through the crap I'm dealing with. And it's also become apparent who my friends are, I've learned a few things about those who've called themselves friends, and those who call themselves Christians... many are neither. To those who love me ...I love you.

my dwelling

Currently Reading To End All Wars By Ernest Gordon see related

Life chapter 2

Starting over is tough!!! especially when you are my age and never expected to be starting over. I got a new apartment though and will be moving in soon, which is a good thing, I'm looking forward to having my own space and not freeloading off of friends and family. It'll be good to have a place to chill with the kids too and we can just be us... there is a park nearby and I'm right smack dab in the middle of downtown Jonestown... a tiny little town with lots of character... the apartment is not very big but it's an older building with real high ceilings, nice and bright, and I first saw it on Saturday when it was 70 degrees and sunny, which I'm sure added to the appeal. I'm about 5 miles from Kenbrook by car and I think about 2 across the field on foot, so I'm sure I'll be making the trek a time or two this summer. Hooray!

The store down the road has the most amazing donuts in the world !(which could be good or bad). The kids are looking forward to walking there when they stay with me.

I got a few things for the apartment , mostly bathroom stuff ...and silverware... no table yet but I got some great silverware! the previous tenant left behind a sofa and chair which are in really good shape. The stuff was going to be picked up by jubilee ministries but I got it first. I felt a little guilty about it (for about 30 seconds) but figured maybe I was a little deserving of some jubilee myself...